To write your very own Toronto Sun editorial, insert the appropriate word into the square captions.
Once again, Mayor Ford is being criticized by [slang for left-wing] for cancelling the [noun: city program].
What don’t these [insult] understand? These downtown elitists drinking their [hot or cold caffeinated beverage] at [coffeeshop] don’t care about [Toronto suburb]. We need to cut [animal by-product] from the budget if we want [choose one: a casino, a giant ferris wheel, a monorail].
The poor in this city need to learn to pull themselves up by their [article of clothing]. When I was growing up in [affluent GTA municipality] I worked [number] of hours at [fast food chain], so I understand what it’s like to work [adjective]. I never would have been able to buy my [car model], even though my [authority figure] helped me. Why can’t the poor do the same?
If the [insult] elitists want to live like hippies they should move to [city outside of Canada] where they smoke a lot of [plant name] and drink [craft beer]. Toronto needs to work for the honest people of [suburb]. We demand [piece of city infrastructure]!
I am a really big Pixar fan. Not a controversial statement, unless you admit to liking Cars. I've been looking forward to their upcoming feature Brave for a long time.
Pretty, right? The animation on the red hair alone will be worth the price of admission.
Brave is notable for two reasons; it is the first Pixar feature to feature a female main character and it's the first Pixar feature to have a female director. Or it was. Check out what happened with original Brave director Brenda Chapman;
Crews of hundreds can typically spend years making a single animated feature — and it's not uncommon during what "Kung Fu Panda 2" director Jennifer Yuh Nelson describes as a "messy, creative process" for a director to be fired midway through a production.
It happened to Jan Pinkava, who was directing 2007's "Ratatouille" before Brad Bird took over the Oscar-winning Pixar film. And it happened to Chris Sanders ("How to Train Your Dragon"), who was removed from Disney's "American Dog" in 2006, before it was reimagined as "Bolt."
Still, when Brenda Chapman was fired from Pixar's "Brave," it stung not just Chapman but also her female colleagues in the animation community.
"I think it's a really sad state. We're in the 21st century and there are so few stories geared towards girls, told from a female point of view," said Chapman, who spent six years on "Brave" — which was inspired by her relationship with her daughter — before being fired because of what she calls "creative differences."
Chapman's removal came roughly one year after Disney's 2009 animated feature "The Princess and the Frog" disappointed at the box office and one month before the premiere of the company's film "Tangled." That film, which was originally titled "Rapunzel," underwent a number of revisions to broaden its appeal beyond a core audience of little girls.
Chapman is currently on a leave of absence from Pixar.
Chapman has been blocked from talking about her experience directly until the film is released, so it will be sometime before we get any of the behind-the-scenes story. But the whole story has raised a lot of questions about management of Pixar. There sure are a lot of white guys running the creative end of the studio. The timing is also suspect given the poor performance of the Princess and the Frog (though, the article fails to mention that Princess was released at the same time as Avatar, which undoubtedly had a negative affect on Princess's box office).
Then there was this news item concerning the renaming of John Carter.
Many fanboys and literary fanatics became ruffled when Disney (and director Andrew Stanton) changed the name of this spring's Edgar Rice Burroughs adaptation "John Carter of Mars" to simply, "John Carter." Apparently Stanton was in London to screen 20 minutes of footage from the hotly anticipated film and during the presentation he explained to assorted journalists (including someone from Bleeding Cool) why it had undergone a surgical title snip. And, well, it's not exactly going to silence those that feel Pixar (which was unofficially involved in "John Carter") is a boys club.
"Here’s the real truth of it. I’d already changed it from 'A Princess Of Mars' to 'John Carter Of Mars.' I don’t like to get fixated on it, but I changed 'Princess Of Mars'… because not a single boy would go," Stanton told the journalists.
He goes on to say that they took Mars out of the title for fear of putting girls off the film. Because girls don't like space? Ok. I could buy that argument with the 5-8 crowd. But we're living in a nerds world these days. The target audience for John Carter is older than the kind of girls who are likely to still be clinging to strongly to the Disney princesses*.
These two incidents have raised the ugly spectre of sexism. I struggled with this assertation at first because I'm in the camp that has loved and enjoyed, on a personal and critical level, the Pixar films. And I've never been in the camp that believes that being a white straight dude of a certain income discludes you from being able to create wonderful characters of all creeds. Some of my favourite female characters in literature and film - Lyra Silvertongue, Arya Stark, Chihiro, Ripley - were created by men.
Looking at Pixar's ouevre, it is certainly true that there has never been a female lead. But there have been a diverse amount of female characters. Some are better than others. Eva, the shiny robot love interest of Wall-E, stands out in my mind. For a character with no lines she's pretty nuanced. Toy Story 2 also had Jessie, who had her own character arc. She wasn't a love interest (save at the end of the film in a clever joke), and because of her own sad past with her owner was motivated by her own interests for going to the toy museum, and then in the end, finally coming around to going home with Woody to become a new kid's toy. Brad Bird's Ratatouille featured female chef Colette, who actually paid lip service to the barriers female chefs face in the workplace. A Bug's Life had the most principal female characters in any Pixar film - the three royal ants, plus the female bugs in the travelling theatre troupe**. I'd also argue that The Incredibles is much more an ensemble piece that relies just as much on the narratives of Mrs. Incredible (kick-ass mother of our dreams - and a pilot!) and teenage Violet (literally a shrinking violet who comes into her own by the end of the film) as it does Mr. Incredible.
Dory, the forgetful fish in Finding Nemo, was always an interesting case to me. Her gender is never really an issue in the film. I wouldn't actually be suprised if some smaller children thought she was male, or paid no mind to her gender at all. I think it's a good thing that this is the case. It normalizes the idea that its perfectly alright to be friends with whoever - male, female, blue, orange - when a lot of lesser films would have turned it into a difference that came down to gender.
But for all this, there are some problem areas. Monster's Inc doesn't have a main female character at all. But wait, what about Boo? The little girl who sets the plot in motion is obviously pretty key. That's true, but that is also all she does. She's a toddler. She doesn't really have any character development. As an adult she won't even remember her adventure with Mike and Sully.
On repeat viewings I've also had some issues with the treatment of Jessie in Toy Story 3. Remember how I said she wasn't just a love interest in the second installment? That's changed now, not for the better. Her role in the film is to act as a love interest for Buzz. I struggle to think of a moment in the film where she shined independenly of how she was seen in relation to Buzz, wheras I can think of several in Toy Story 2. It's actually Barbie who fares the best in Toy Story 3, getting some of the best lines and showing off her knowledge of French political theorists.
Overall, we are dealing with a mixed bag here. Some films, like Wall-E, get it and some, like Monster's Inc, have a void of female characters. So the question that internet spectators are left asking is: will more female creators create better female roles in Pixar films?
That question deserves asking, but I have another. Is there room for female-oriented films at a studio as big and influential as Pixar?
There should be. And they should want there to be. Because as much as you may want to point a finger at The Princess and the Frog and say girls aren't supporting films or that boys won't go to girly films, we know that isn't true most of the time. Walk into any Disney store. Who are plastered all over the store? Belle and Co. We know that the Disney Princess franchise makes major, major bank for the Disney Corporation. Commercially, there is a market for "girly" stuff. You are of course now pointing out how problematic these characters are. That's true. But there have been critical sucesses as well. Look at the output of Studio Ghibli. Almost all Ghibli films are fronted by female characters. The Studio is a major force in Japan where Totoro is still wildly popular. Spirited Away performed good enough in the North American market to encourage new English dubs and continued theatrical releases of their films. It's an example of how the right material can grab at an audience and be sucessful.
I don't think the creatives at Pixar are sexist, not intentionally at least. They've created some great female characters, and some that are only ok. If anything their sexism lies in telling the kind of stories that have been ingrained in them since a young age, ones about boys. Unfortunately that can be the worst and most pervasive form of sexism. People who don't recognize their privilege are the most likely to fight tooth and nail to try and prove they don't have any. In Pixar, we have a tightly knit group of animators who have worked together for sometime and clearly like the same ideas and stories (In fact, all the head creative guys attended CalTech together in the eighties). So they tell them, over and over, in different guises. Is that why Chapman was ousted though? I can't say, not can anyone till we get the full story. But whether Pixar can sucessfully start telling stories about different people*** will depend entirely on their openess in the future to stories from creators who they haven't known their whole lives. Creators who have different perspectives that gender and ethnicity so often provide.
*Nothing against girls who are into the Princess Mafia of course - I just think it's an off claim for Pixar to make given the target audience is one that is beginning to show interest in some of the same science fiction and fantasy literature regardless of their gender.
**I haven't seen A Bug's Life since I was a much smaller film critic and I couldn't get a hold of a copy before writing this essay. As I remember it, it's a pretty standard "little guy saves friends/family/love interest from evil" story.
***Pixar neatly gets to sidestep the race issue by having most of their movies be about non-human characters. That said, I struggle to name one prominent person of colour who has worked on a Pixar film. Or one that has provided a voice for a Pixar character. If you can correct me I would be happy to know about it.
There are a lot of great movie theatres with many an ode written to them; the Bloor, the Mayfair in Ottawa, The Alamo Drafthouse chain, and more recently the Toronto Underground Cinema. But very few seem to be written about those cesspools of humanity that can only be known as the cheapo theatre.
There are some that will jump to mind for folks from the Greater Toronto Area. The Rainbow Cinemas up at Woodbine always raised the hairs on the back of my neck, and Hamiltonians will probably agree that Jackson Square Cinema, with its lack of air conditioning and proximity to the finest low-rent strip clubs in downtown Hamilton, is a fine sketchy establishment. But nothing, in my mind at least, can beat the Palace Cinemas in downtown Windsor.
I feel like Obi-Wan Kenobi taking Luke into Mos Eisley every time I bring someone new to the Palace. You know; "You will never find a more wretched hive of scum and villainy. We must be cautious." Where to begin? Perhaps in the lobby, which always, ALWAYS smells of Subway sandwiches thanks to the shop next door. Then take the escalators up to the second floor, where the a new disaffected Windsor teenager a week will sell you your $7 ticket (the main selling point of the Palace is it's cheap tickets). Up another level and you finally hit the floor with the theatres on it - one stuck permanently in the 70s, and manned by a sole ticket taker and a concession person.
PALACE STORY NUMBER ONE: I have never actually seen the Palace full, except on the rare occassions where an event is put on by an outside group. That's must be why the staff are in perpetual shock that anyone at all shows up and expects service. I left a film once to get a top-up on my soda. I walked into the concession area to find that the one employee on duty that day had decided to stretch out for a nap on the floor. I was left awkwardly standing there, oscillating between just filling the damn thing up myself or going back into the theatre thirsty. But then! She awoke, and stared at me slack-jawed until I managed to mumble out "...can I have some more Pepsi?"
The theatres themselves have the feeling of being second-hand because they are in fact second-hand; all the cup holders have Eye Magazine stickers on them. At some point in the Palace's tawdry history, they must have had the chance to buy new(old) seats from a shuttered theatre in Toronto and jumped at it. But as theatres they serve and the Palace gets that aspect right at the very least. What gives the place its special, one-of-a-kind sketch is of course, the people.
PALACE STORY NUMBER TWO: I went to go see Bridesmaids last summer on a Tuesday night with two friends (Because God forbid I pay the full $7 when I could pay $4 instead). It was the last showing, and in true Palace fashion the place was empty. At least, it was almost empty until another gentleman sat a row behind us, bringing the theatre's population up to a solid six (there was also a couple in the back getting...intimate, shall we say).
There were so many warning signs about this guy. His odour for one. It was like a wet dog who had rolled in cabbage and tuna soup had sauntered into the theatre. Or that he laughed mindlessly at odd parts of the trailer. But no, I didn't get up and make my friends move because I didn't want to be judgmental or rude. So, for the duration of Bridesmaids I was treated to a non-stop litany of this man's thoughts about the film, which amounted to; "What a bunch of sluts."
Seriously. Something about Bridesmaids brought out all of this man's anger and hatred at women. Anytime the ensemble cast appeared on screen; "heh heh, bunch of sluts". Kristen Wiig getting it on with Jon Hamm; "heh heh, that bitch is a slut". The wedding scene at the end; "bunch of slutty bitches". He saved his most biting vitriol for the scenes focusing on Rose Byrn's character, Helen. "What a dumb bitch" he cried as Helen and Annie duked it out for best speech at the engagement party. I gritted my teeth the entire time, thinking "This poor guy is probably mentally ill. If you say something he might get mad. It would be awkward to move now." So, I stayed. By the end, I had gotten some sort of weird Stockholm Syndrome-esque symptoms where I was actually agreeing with him - "by god yes, these women are bitches!"
The scary are not the only people that frequent the Palace. It is also home to that bitter and restless individual known as the downtown teenager. Suburban teenagers are bad, but mostly harmless. They generally have money and too much time on their hands, which leads them to suburban theatres in droves to make-out and throw popcorn on one another. The downtown teen is a whole other animal. They have time, but less money, and tend to have more of an edge AKA will suck their teeth at you when you ask them to please not talk on their phones in the theatre. This brand of teen gathers around the Palace in small droves on the weekend, mostly to socialize and call people on their phones during the movie.
Want to guess what happens when downtown teen meets scary crazy sexist guy? One of them gets punched in the head.
PALACE STORY NUMBER THREE: I'm back at the Palace for a Friday night showing of Captain America. I spot crazy guy from the Bridesmaids screening (oh yes, he is a regular) and make sure my friend and I have some distance from him so not to be treated to the slut rant, yet again. Sitting in front of crazy guy are your typical downtown teens - all talking loudly, all on cell phones, all relatively harmless. The lights go down and the trailers come on. One teen, about 16 years old, keeps texting. The light is annoying, but I don't really care enough to make an issue of it. But out of the corner of my eye, I can see crazy guy getting agitated.
He then punches the kid in the back of the head. He follows-up by louding proclaiming, "NO PHONES".
I'm gaping at this. I just saw a 16 year old get sucker-punched by a crazy guy. And somehow the kid doesn't get upset, or act like he's in any pain. He takes it in stride. "Ok ok man" and with that, puts the phone away. There are no more noises or disruptions through out the film.
That, in a nutshell, is the Palace. A place where on an average Friday night you can be treated to a little casual violence amongst its patrons.
I've written on this blog before about my love and first fandom, Sailor Moon. Unless you were a 10 year old girl when the anime came out its hard to understand the fevered love that fans have for these series. I am no different. I may be older but deep down I'm still a fan of meatball head, wanting to pretend to be Sailor Mercury at recess and secretly hoping a black cat is going to show up with my transformation pen (I'm turning 25 in three weeks, in case you were wondering).
That's why I absolutely fucking FLAILED when I heard the Sailor Moon manga series was getting a re-print and a brand new English translation. Because here's my deep dark secret; I never actually read the comics. I was into anime and Sailor Moon cards all the way but was never interested in reading the manga. By the time I got with the program, it was out of print. I was left with only the internet to fill me in on what the anime had left out. Neptune and Saturn weren't cousins?! The Sailor Stars were men?! ZOYCITE WAS A MAN?!
15 years later, I am now able to right this wrong, care of my very grown-up credit card (that I use to buy comics [SHUT UP!]) and amazon.co.uk.
Usagi hanging with the 11th Doctor
You probably have some basic idea of the plot. Usagi (Serena in the anime) is 14 years old. A black cat named Luna shows up and tells her she is a Guardian of the Moon Princess and needs to find the other Guardians (Sailors Mercury, Mars, Jupiter, and Venus) to help her fight evil. Sometimes she gets helped from a mysterious guy called Tuxedo Mask, who is really a 16 year old named Mamoru (Darien).
You know, I don't know why I would assume people would be familiar with this plot. It's messed up.
But author and artist Naoko Takeuchi knows that this is a crazy ass idea for a comic book. She embraces it. Yes it's girly and has romance and everything you would expect from a comic aimed at pre-teen girls. But it's also silly and funny and just a touch camp. I'm not familiar with a lot manga so I can't say how representative or not Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon is of the genre (though I'm sure those of you that are will be quick to tell me there is much better out there). But in its best places it actually reminded me a tad of the manga influenced Scott Pilgrim. The book is filled with abstract asides into humour, both visually and in the writing. Usagi is, as the anime fans know, a spaz who spends more time fantasizing about boys and food than saving the world. In one sequence she imagines herself as the star of her favourite video game "Sailor V". It's an amusing and strangely endearing sequence.
The strangest parts are where the manga deviates from the English translation. For instance, it turns our Usagi isn't just boy crazy; she's ANYONE crazy, as long as they're pretty which is why she ends up following both Rei (Sailor Mars) and Lita (Sailor Jupiter) around like a lovestruck teen boy when she first meets them. Japanese manga is known for playing much more fast and loose with gender and sexuality dynamics than Western comics, and its certainly apparent in what I hear is the relatively tame Pretty Guardian Sailor Moon.
Volume 1 works as an introduction to the main characters and concepts, so in many ways it felt rushed. We don't get to know a lot of the characters before they're thrown into the melee. However, we do get the development of the Usagi/Mamoru romance. This is one aspect of the manga I enjoyed much more than in the anime. Darien in the series was, frankly, an asshole. Mamoru here is still a bit prickly, but their interactions in real life aren't as numerous as in the anime series so it lessens the douchey impression. In fact, the panels depicting their romance are some of the most well done of the book.
Poor capture taken with my phone.
Despite the clear attachment I feel to this series out of nostalgia, I think it holds up on its own. It's an enjoyable read and unlike many current superhero titles today, very clear and easy to follow. I'm absolutely delighted that 11 more volumes are waiting to be released in the coming months, plus the Codename Sailor V series. All of which I'm going to review as they make their way to the shelves.
This is going to be fun.
SAILOR SAYS: My friends told me beer before liquor, never been sicker. But what if you mix Jack Daniels, white wine, vodka, and Molson export? That's a hell of pickle kids. Steal a pizza on your way back from the bar and have plenty of Gatorade waiting for you at home. Remember, Sailor says!
I am no landscape architect or urban planner. My only expertise in cities is experience, having lived in quite a few. Luckily for me all of these cities happened to be waterfront cities. And like many city dwellers, I love to hang out by the water. Cities, despite the many wonderful things about them, can be cramped, full of people, and dirty. Going to the water is an easy way to feel, for a few hours anyways, that you're getting away from it all. It's cooler (literally and figuratively) by the water.
Toronto is of course in the midst of trying to figure out what makes a good waterfront experience. While recent developments at Sugar Beach and further west along shoreline of Lake Ontario have certainly improved the experience, a large part of the waterfront is still devoted to industry or is still simply underdeveloped. I'm not advocating for a mega-mall like two very infamous Toronto politicians. Nor am I put off by the large amounts of greenspace (quite the opposite). But I do think it would be nice to see some of the spaces used for more events, and to see the bike path and seating areas more developed.
Windsor's waterfront, on the other hand, has been praised for how user friendly it is. An approximately 4 km multi-use trail runs along the river, stretching from University of Windsor at its western edge to the Walker Distillery in the east. Dotted along the trail are permanent sculptures. It's offset beautifully by the view of the Detroit skyline. Just this summer the city completed construction on an outdoor theatre just below the Caesars Windsor building which has already served very successfully as a multi-purpose event venue. But again, this is a waterfront with its own set of challenges. First and foremost is that when the sun sets, the vibe palatably changes. While directly in front of of the downtown core remains busy, the other areas of the trail are poorly lit, when they're lit at all. Its a place that frankly, I don't feel safe going by myself at night.
That brings me to my case study: Lyon.
Lyon proper revolves around two rivers, the Rhone and the Saone. The Saone side leads to Vieux-Lyon, an area once known for its wealth. It shows in the architecture of the buildings and a waterfront that was already extraordinarily pretty by anyone's standard. In contrast, the Rhone side had over the years gotten a reputation for being an area to avoid. It was hard to dig up photos of the Rhone pre-transformation, but the one I did find shows that the area directly in front of Universite Lumiere Lyon 2 was a not-so-picturesque- car-park.
From www.publicspace.org
About 7 years ago, Lyon's government to began a huge and expensive project to revitalize Berges du Rhone (the banks of the Rhone). The project called for all of the car-parking to be removed and for a new multi-use trail to be put in its place with room for outdoor sports and gatherings. It was a hugely ambitious plan that would change the character of the waterfront along the Rhone.
from www.publicspace.orgAnd you know what? They fucking did it.
Berges du Rhone coming over Pont GuillitereView of the waterfront trail headed towards the university
skatepark-cum-football pitch by Pont GuillitereSteps on the other side of Pont Guillitere - a major Lyon hotspoThe Rhone waterfront stretches about 5 km, from the beautiful Parc Tete D'Or right down to where two rivers finally merge. I have yet to walk the whole stretch of it, but what I have covered has so much of what I want in a waterfront. It's full of wide open spaces, both green and cement. It has room for joggers, bikers, in-line skaters, and those little foot powered scooters favoured by French of all ages. It has several facilities that can be used by different groups, including the skate park and the football pitch pictured above. And it is beautifully lit at all times of the day making it a welcome place to go to.
And when people aren't doing these things, they are participating in what seems to be an endless array of activities on the banks of the Rhone. Such as paddle boat races,
and farmers markets, and free festivals for kids where they get to play with games and LEGOS.
These activities make me wonder; why don't we have more of this at home? Yes, there are events that happen on the waterfronts of Toronto and Windsor. But these can be sporadic, and sometimes don't actually make great use of the space. I remember going to the Epicure Festival this summer in Windsor. It was a fantastically well-run fest that took place in the theatre grounds in front of Caesars Windsor. But sadly, the whole area had been fenced off which limited views of the Detroit skyline. I understand that as a mechanism to ensure everyone is paying customers, it was the best way to do it. But it was unfortunate that the festival wasn't able to take full advantage of the existing park and skyline that makes it such an exciting place. In comparison Berges du Rhone literally has events happening everyday, and these events are free, or at the very least lack any fencing. And on the days there isn't, there always seems to be a reason to be by the water. It's a place to meet friends, read a book, or simply watch the world float on by. It's become a central part of life in Lyon.
Another unique facet of the river is that people are actually engaged on the water itself. Along the Rhone, there are a series of permanently docked barges that act as the 'Entertainment District' of Lyon. Each bar has a different theme; there's a raucous Australian theme bar, a disco barge, one that plays live music, and one is a small rum boat that makes its own brand of rum (and a killer mojito in my humble opinion). In addition there is a small fleet of touring barges that make their way up and down the Rhone in the summer months.
from the Eurostar websiteAt home, many of our activities on the waterfront certainly take us up close to the actual water, but rarely take us on it. But in essence there's no reason why we couldn't find ways to incorporate water activities into designs for waterfront landscapes.
Now this isn't a perfect design in my mind. I wish there was more greenspace-the stairs model was used because so many people here bike, I believe. It makes sense, but I still like sitting on grass over hard cement. I also wonder how Lyon was able to make this substantial change so quickly. Did Lyon's government have its own naysayer who thought the plan was a bad idea? Did they bemoan the war on the car and the loss of parking? How much did this cost? I'm sure some googling by someone with a stronger grasp on French than I would find the answers quickly. I will say that of the Lyon natives that I know, they all have spoke very highly of the waterfront.
Lyon also face a few less challenges than faced by Toronto and Windsor. Lyon is smaller than Toronto, thus I can only assume they deal with perhaps a little less municipal bureaucracy then Toronto does. As well, Lyon doesn't have to contend with an international border as Windsor does. But as an example of a successfully revitalized waterfront, I think Lyon is definitely one to aspire to.
Did you hear the news friends? I live in France now. Lyon, to be exact. If you were to look on a map, you'll find Lyon just a little down and east from Paris, and a little north of Avignon. We have a big hill (like Hamilton), and one more river than Windsor, and almost no office towers which, as a born and bred Torontonian, I'm still having trouble adjusting too.
I have a lot of posts on Lyon already floating about in my brain. One in fact I'm planning to go shoot the photos for tomorrow (Teaser: it involves more brides than you have ever seen in one place at one time). But I haven't really had time to sit down and write anything yet. See, moving to a foreign country who's language you only have the most basic grip on is very stressful. In movies when people move to France, they pack several cute outfits and wear them about Paris and meet a cute French boy. They do not show you:
Coming close to angering an entire train of French people as you struggle to get your three suitcases off the TGV
Eating your first meal at a McDonald's and being so goddamned tired that you can't properly explain to the cashier to "hold the mayo"
Your landlord telling you in the most dead-panned manner possible that you may not have electricity and if you do not contact EDF (France's friendly electricity conglomerate) immeadietely they will cut it off
The pure, existential horror of Carrefour, France's answer to Wal-Mart where every level of French society comes to move as slowly as possible through the aisles and fight over off-brand electric kettles
A panic attack that sets in when you realize that you will have to do what you fought so hard to avoid; open a French bank account
I suspect that should they show these things, France would loose that romantic sheen it has.
But, somehow, the stress subsided and there were fun things. There was drinks at a bar straight out of John Water's wildest fantasies, and then more drinks on a barge decorated in a Tin Tin theme. There was a day spent lounging in a park full of Roman Ruins, and walks around a new rather hip neighbourhood. And getting to the bank and being served by a bubbly 22 year old who sang Rebecca Black's "Friday" as she processed the contracts. So even the bank wasn't so bad.
1. I have a love/hate relationship with lifestyle blogs. I hate these girls who have time to make AND take photos of their perfect outfits/meals/apartments/boyfriends. But I would also like them to come over and make me a perfect outfit/meal/apartment and maybe find me a perfect boyfriend.
2. I don't make New Years Resolutions, but I do make Summer Resolutions. This year's were to 1) finally finish a short story (something I haven't successfully done since...high school) 2) Read an actual work of staggering literary genius. Two unfinished stories are waiting on my hard drive, and Anna Karenina keeps staring accusingly at me from my bookshelf (the book, metaphorically, not the actual character). Woe is me.
3. I am on track to be entirely caught up with George RR Martin's A Song of Ice and Fire series by the end of July. Great literature it is not, but I am totally addicted to it.
4. If I want to be able to afford a new camera lens by the time I leave for France, I need to stay away from this site.
5. I've been reading a lot of moody, self-reflective graphic novels lately. First it was Daytripper by Fabio Moon and Gabriel Ba, which asks what would your obituary read if you died at varying points in your life. The I reread Bryan Lee O'Malley's Lost at Sea, which is full of teen angst, but in a funny and less cloying way than a lot of other writers breach the subject. But both books have stuck with me lately.
6. I've reached a point in my life where I have to start thinking about "settling down". I don't mean that in the sense of buying a house, or kids, or any of the other stereotypical shit. I just have to stay in one place for a "while" and make some cash to start slowly digging myself out of this hole of debt I've created for myself. That's where the above books come in. Lost at Sea is really about embracing how fucked up you are and how our lives are unsettled. Really, that's how I've always felt. I've lived a nomadic lifestyle for a long time now. My parents moved us all over Toronto as kids, and then I was shuttling between Hamilton and Toronto, and now between Windsor and Hamilton and Toronto (soon to add France to that list). I love all those places, and to a certain extent all of them are home. But, and I am fully aware of how weird this is, the idea of staying in one place for more than a year has me on edge. It could be Toronto, it could be elsewhere, but regardless I'm not sure I'm ready to settle on any of them.
7. But Daytripper is really all about being happy with the choices you make, and learning to find joy wherever you are. And it reminds me that I'm kind of being a baby about all of this. That I may not even get a gig in Toronto. Or if I do, it doesn't mean that's where I'll be forever. Or that it could all change, and I'll want to stay.
8. Basically, what I'm trying to say is that I am 24 years old and I am confused. Which, despite lifestyle blogs to the contrary, I think is probably the norm.
9. I do know I want to change into my PJs and read A Feast for Crows. I want to drink ice tea, and spend tomorrow doing my laundry. I want to go to Istanbul and Morocco this year. And pass the bar exam. And finish a short story and Anna Karenina.
That'll have to do for now.
10. This is almost a lifestyle type blog post isn't it? I have become what I most hate :(
Hopeless Savages is a weird and wonderful little comic about a family of punk rockers fighting villains and their music label. The brightly coloured jacket of the graphic novel caught my eye as I was meandering through a Chapters (I know, I know).
But what sold me on it was the talent involved. Bryan Lee O’Malley (best known for the Scott Pilgrim series) is a contributing artist and famed pin-up artist for Marvel and DC Terry Dodson created several of the covers (see right).
So what exactly is Hopeless Savages? It’s a story of a family trying to stick together; it’s a mystery; it’s punk rock; it’s just a little bit of a superhero tale. And it’s fucking funny.
Writer Jen Van Meter takes us into the world of the Hopeless Savages. Matriarch and Patriarch Nikki Savage and Dirk Hopeless are a reformed Sid and Nancy if they hadn’t had that fateful night at the Chelsea Hotel. They have a brood of four kids; Rat-Bastard, who attempts to distance himself (unsuccessfully) from his punk rock family by working for a corporate coffee giant; Arsenal, a martial arts superstar; artist Twitch; and youngest sibling Skank Zero, the defacto main character of the series. Skank is a trip. She speaks in her own made up language that's a mix of Cockney rhyming slang and regular teen speak. Her irrevererent style of narrating the stories is funny and keeps them moving along at a nice pace.
My edition of Hopeless Savages is a collection of three of the arcs plus a few odds and ends. I highly recommend picking this one up. Each arc explores a little bit of the Hopeless-Savages homelife. The stories range from the unreal (Nikki and Dirk get kidnapped by their ex-manager and held for ransom) to the all too familiar (Skank falls in love with her geeky classmate) and back to unreality (Skank causes a massive bomb scare with the help of said classmate).
I would be remiss not to mention the art. Luckily, it’s as solid as the book itself. It’s largely a massive mash-up of several other artists, notably Bryan Lee O’Malley (Scott Pilgrim), Ross Campbell (Wet Moon), and Terry Dodson (Spider-Man). Each artist compliments the arc that they illustrate. For instance, O’Malley contributes a simpler story set mostly in Skank’s high school, while Christine Norrie adds her manga influenced style to a suitably action filled story. The art only adds to the overall frenetic feel of Hopeless Savages.
It would be easy to loose the character’s in the chaos of this graphic novel, but the family life of the Hopeless Savages grounds the story. Nothing feels like it’s out of the realm of possibility when you have doting punk rock parents who only want you to pass high school.
Forgive me. I'm interrupting my usual forays into comics and humour writing to talk politics.
Don't worry, I'm not here to whine about the Conservative majority or pound my fists that the youth are too apathetic. I mean, I am upset about the former, and I'm not entirely convinced the latter carries that much weight at the end of the day (though it would have been lovely to hit over 70% voter turnout).
But no, what I really want to talk about is how I view Canada.
I've always laboured under the idea that Canada was a pretty cool, hip place. Sure we're no Amsterdam, but we can smoke pot without serious fear of imprisonment, get married to whomever we damn please, and if the Supreme Court has any sense we might even be able to legalize prostitution. Not terrible.
Watching the election night results was a revelation, however. Because it showed me that my view of Canada is the minority. A majority of Canadians (well, 40% of voting Canadians) value different things. Corporate tax cuts, fiscal restraint, less support for the arts...the list goes on and on.
I grew up in a working class (re: poor) family in the heart of downtown Toronto. It has for years skewed my worldview because things that seem so blatantly needed to me-social assistance programs, for example-are not necessarily needed by others. A majority of Canadians who get out and vote come from old families who are comfortably ensconced in their small towns. They don't have the same concerns about public transport because where they live, they don't care if Toronto or Hamilton has an LRT.
I know it sounds like I'm talking down to these people. "Oh, the little rural simpletons! Don't they see that green energy and higher taxes for corporations is the path to a brighter tomorrow?" What I'm really trying to get at is that right now, at this moment of history, cities and suburbs and farms are so different that there are two different Canada's. The one that won last night, and the one that many of us have in our head. It's a bitter pill to swallow. But hey, that's democracy.
But I'm not moving to Quebec or Sweden, or wherever people threaten to go when disappointed in an election. I'm staying right here. Because as damned idealistic and foolhardy and it is, I believe change has to come. I don't know what it will take. Perhaps gas prices going up more and more, or another war, or an inspiring leader. But eventually, Canada will have to change if it wants to survive or hell, just be sustainable. And now we have five years to try and make that change happen.
Another oldie from the Oyez this year. Law students participate in an yearly ritual known as "mooting" in which we present and argue appeal cases like it actually matters to us. Probably good practice for real lawyering, now that I think about it. Anyways, this is the somewhat based on reality account of my moot last year. Don't worry, I didn't hook up with a first-year named Jeff; really, his name was Dave.
September 24th, 2010-8:00 PM
Just got the email. Zuber sign-up is tomorrow! Crap, I don’t have a partner. Crap, I also have a paper due the week of the moots. Crap, I just accidentally deleted the email. CRAP CRAP CRAP! Ok, I have to find a partner. What about Hope? Wait, she’s mad at me for something I did at Peppers. I can’t remember what. Ashley? She’s also mad at me. Can’t remember why. Damn I need to lay off the Jack. Guess I’m going to have to blackmail Maddy with what she did last year at the end of exams party. At least I (partially) remember that.
This is going to be a great experience though. I’ll really want to be a litigator…I mean, that’s what I tell people. I don’t really know too much about it. It’s probably a lot like this, right? Besides, I had to go to law school because I will never make money doing my real passion. As my mom says “Hayley, there is no money in being a spelunking expert!” yeah, well FUCK YOU MOM.
October 2nd 2010-6:00pm
Sweet, I’m an Appellant! That means I get Thanksgiving to work on this. Awesome, I’m going to get so much done. I’ll have tons of time to edit and finish my factum, plus prepare my arguments.
October 3rd 2010-Noon
Great, a section 7 argument. Just a simple life and liberty argument. No sir, can’t justify that with section 1. I should probably start working on this. I’ll have to get my laptop to go on CanLii and find the case, but my laptop is all the way in the other rooom. Ugh, I’m taking a nap.
October 6th 2010-10 AM
This has been the GREATEST Thanksgiving ever. I went out with all my friends from undergrad and we ran into Mike, who used to live down the street from us. He was looking good, if you know what I mean diary, and one thing led to another…yeah, I just got home now. Whew, I am way too hungover and tired to work on my factum. I only need to argue the dissent in my case, so it will be easy.
October 8th 2010-1:00 AM
The factum is due the day after tomorrow and I haven’t even started. Maddy didn’t do anything either. Something about having to go to 50 million Thanksgiving dinners because she has a family the size of the Duggars. God this stupid case references at least 50 previous cases. I don’t have time to look at 50 cases! I’m just going to have to find a way to re-write the dissent in a way that doesn’t sound like I’m copying it directly.
October 9th, 2010-7 PM
Ok, case is read. We’re in my apartment trying to figure out the argument. Oh wow, Cracked.com has a list of the fifty greatest plot holes in film history-no, Hayley, focus on the case. You have to get this done. You’ve only written the title page and the facts and it’s due tomorrow at noon. Just time for a quick Facebook check. Yeah, everything looks go-OH MY GOD MIKE CHANGED HIS RELATIONSHIP STATUS TO “IN A RELATIONSHIP”. WHO IS THIS LENA BITCH? I AM GOING TO SHANK THAT AS-[Oyez Ed. Note-the rest of this diary entry had to be redacted due to profane, graphic, and frankly pornographic nature of the entry]
October 9th 11:30 PM
Maddddddy and I just shOTgunned 2 redBull’s!!!11!!! 5 pagez doooone! Takkke that zzzzUBER m00t. TAKE THAT MIIIIIKE AHAHA!1!
October 10th, 9 AM
We just woke up! Oh no, we must have crashed after we shotgunned those red bulls! I’m so tired, I can barely remember anything. Why aren’t I wearing pants? Damnit, no time to figure that out. We have three hours to get this done. Just enough time to finish our references and print it off. I wonder if the judges will care that our factum is only 7 pages including appendixes?
October 10th, 12:30 PM
So tired. Handed it in right at noon. Time for bed.
October 11th 5:30 PM
I just woke up. I can’t believe I slept for 15 hours! Hey, it’s time for happy hour at Dom House!
October 12th 3 PM
I can’t remember anything from last night. Oh no, I called Mike three times! And my mom? And someone named Jeff? For 40 minutes?! Ughhhhhh, back to bed.
October 14th 4 PM
Maddy came over to work on our moot arguments. Instead we caught up on Gossip Girl. I can’t believe how mean Chuck Bass is being to Blair.
October 15th 12 PM
Our moot is in 6 hours. Maddy and I have accepted we will not finish any new arguments. We have to argue the factum. How the hell am I going to stretch 3 pages of arguments into 20 minutes?
Some first year keeps smiling at me. Like, f-off dude. I’m not giving you CANS.
October 15th 6 PM
We’re in robes waiting to go into the room. I am so nervous. Tano is on our bench. I haven’t even taken evidence yet! Why is it so hot in here? God my back is so sweaty. Maddy keeps trying to quiz me on the case. I don’t know, OK?! Godamnit, there are so many mistakes in our factum. I spelt Sopinka “Sobinca”. What is wrong with me? That weird first year is our clerk. He keeps creepily staring at me.
Did Josh Ginsberg just point at me and mouth the word “failure” to his friend? Oh no…
October 15th 8 PM
It’s OVER! I am never, ever doing this again. Who told people this was a good experience?
Maddy just introduced me to that first year. His name is…Jeff.
Wednesday, April 18, 2012 at 12:34PM 
